Finding a New Way
When things fall completely apart, there is always the opportunity to recreate our lives. The falling apart can be wrenching and can engender feelings of hopelessness and despair, but it is those very feelings that often become the fuel for digging deeper into our souls, for accessing powers and resources within that we never knew were there. The experience of falling apart is often a doorway to an entirely new way of being.
Recent events have surfaced deep wounds and dysfunctions that have been festering in our country for generations, and not just the wounds caused by racial injustice. Our egocentric, materialistic way of living has caused pain and suffering for the rich and poor alike. When a person is spiritually bankrupt, it doesn't matter how much one has in his or her bank account.
Whether we realize it or not, the process happening on a collective basis is the same process that is happening on an individual basis for many. It is a time of deep reflection. A time to look at the wounds within ourselves. A time to look at what has never really worked in our lives that before we were able to distract ourselves from.
Our concerns about our livelihoods, our health, our children's education, our need for social interaction are all very real concerns and can cause significant stress when those needs are not met. For many people, however, it is the surfacing of those old wounds that is causing the lion's share of the pain. The wounds could be unhealed wounds from childhood, wounds from living in an abusive relationship, or wounds from a significant loss such as the loss of a beloved spouse or child.
Most of us don't willingly choose to do the work of healing our wounds. Most people are running fast and hard from them. It is only in turning and facing them, in embracing them, in giving the hurt parts of ourselves the compassion and love those parts have long been crying for that we are able to heal and find a new way of living. It is through that that we are able to come home to ourselves. When we are truly "home", we are free to relate creatively to whatever adversity we are faced with.
So how do we heal? How do we recreate our lives in the midst of all the chaos and uncertainty? Obviously, these are big questions and there are no simple answers. All I can share is my own experience. Having reached rock bottom more than once, here are some things I have found to be true for me.
The higher the view of things I can take, the better. Life is always working to heal us and lead us back to our true selves, so whatever is in front of me is what I need to evolve.
The more I can let go of, the better. Whenever I find myself ruminating about the past, it is a reminder for me to come back into the present moment. Our stories about our past are what imprison us, not the events themselves.
There are no answers outside myself. I may need help from others, but ultimately only I can make peace between the sides within me that are in conflict.
My mind cannot heal me for the mind is where the problems began in the first place. I cannot "think" my way to healing and peace.
The more comfortable I am with not having to have all the answers to life's problems, the more at peace I am.
When I am judgmental, opinionated and/or angry, it is a sure sign that the problem is within. The outer event or other person is the trigger.
It is not for me to say how things should or shouldn't be. I am not the master controller of life nor am I capable of seeing the bigger picture. The best I can do is let my inner light shine as brightly as possible.
I do not believe everything my mind tells me for the mind is primarily fear-based. It's job is to keep me alive so the mind is not a reliable source of information.
There is a Presence within me that is unchanging and the source of all healing. In order to access that Presence which is always there, I must quiet the mind. Only then can I hear what I need to hear.
I hope some of these thoughts bring you comfort as you reflect on your life and the challenges before you.