Oh, The Stories We Tell
Everyone loves a good story. Perhaps nothing loves a good story more than the mind. It is constantly using the experiences of the past to weave stories in the present. And then it works really hard to convince us that these stories are true. And most people walk through life with a headful of stories about what they think is reality when in fact what they are believing is mostly fiction.
If you don’t believe me, think about the thoughts that run through your head every day. Do you have 2 or 3 stories that you have been running for almost as long as you can remember? You have repeated them to yourself so many times that you are one of two things – totally sick of them or you are completely mesmerized by them. Sometimes it is both. We despise them but have a morbid fascination with them at the same time. And the crazy part of it all is they aren’t even true.
By now your mind is probably pitching a fit saying, “I know my own experience. Who is she to tell me what is true or not. I know what I know.” Mind clearly doesn’t want to give up its stories. When you have an experience, your mind only has a bird’s eye view at best as to what is happening. It sees things from a very small angle and then mind fills in the blanks. And wallah! A story is born. Stories give the mind a sense of security because the story enables a person to feel “certain” about what happened so it can more accurately predict what might happen in the future when something feels similar. And so we are constantly reacting from the complicated past instead of from the clear, uncluttered present.
The mind loves stories for another reason. It gives the mind a false sense of identity. After all, who would we be without our stories. Think about that. Wouldn’t you feel a little naked, a little lost if you didn’t have your stories to tell you who you are? Can you imagine just being your unadorned, soft, open and unguarded self. Mind is probably going even crazier now. DANGER!
Once you start to get it – that you really can’t know much of anything for absolute sure because your view is always limited, you put less stock in your so called opinions and beliefs which, of course, are the underpinnings of your stories. You may even hear the words coming out of your mouth and halfway through a sentence, what you are saying loses its steam because you know it is mostly just ego rubbish – fabrications of your miraculous yet limited mind. If it doesn’t hurt anyone, just go with it. Enjoy it! It is just what minds do.
For a week, try listening to what comes out of your mouth and the stories you repeat to yourself. Question their validity. Get honest. Are you sure they are completely true? Don’t judge them or reject them. Just observe.
People talk about living in the present all the time but most people aren’t totally clear about what that means. They think it means thinking about, focusing on what is happening in the present. Being in the present is about letting go of thought. It is about having a clear and open mind so something other than your past conditioning can enter. It is using all your senses to take in the whole of the situation so you can understand it more globally and respond more appropriately. Remind yourself regularly that there is an intelligence available to you that doesn’t come from the conditioned mind.