Your Ripple Effect
Most of us go about our day, thinking about the tasks we have to accomplish without seriously considering how our actions will affect others. I am not talking about the big things, but the small everyday things we do which may not seem significant to us but have a ripple effect far beyond what we know. Perhaps it is because we are so focused on what we have to get done that sometimes we are hardly aware of the world around us. Every one of us is influencing the world in ways we could probably never dream.
Who knows what a genuine “I really see you” smile might mean to someone suffering a heartbreaking loss. Or what a gesture as small as picking something off the floor for someone who dropped something might mean. Or any small act of kindness for that matter. The reverse is also true. When we are contracted and angry, our actions can be a matter of life and death.
A few weeks ago, an acquaintance of mine was driving a small furniture delivery truck on I-95 outside of Richmond, Virginia. He was going around a sharp curve in the highway at the speed limit when he smashed into an eighteen wheeler that was at a dead stop. He is currently in intensive care fighting for his life. If he survives, his recovery will be long and slow and he will be impaired for life. All because a driver in a car was filled with such rage that she slowly eased her way in front of the tractor trailer truck so he would have to stop. The driver in the tractor trailer had grazed the side of the car doing minimal damage but the driver in the car was bent on teaching him a lesson. And now she has to live with the fact that she may have cost someone his life or altered it significantly for him and his loved ones.
During this time of COVID-19, frustrations are high and people are more reactive than usual. We must find appropriate outlets for the pent up energy that many of us are feeling because our routines are so limited and we are spending most of our time inside with the people we love which can often be more challenging than going to the office. Recently, a neighbor of mine, out of the blue, brought me a small gift. It was a Dot Art kit, complete with small canvas, paints, brushes and dotters. Since I am not remotely artistically inclined in that way, at first it felt like an obligation. To my surprise, when I tried it I found I loved it and now I have a new hobby! In case you don’t know what Dot Art is (I had no idea) it is a way to make mandalas and other designs with dots of paint. You don’t have to be particularly artistic to do it which is why it was such a lovely gift for me. A small gesture from a neighbor and I get hours of pleasure painting dots!
One of the things that helps me when I am at the grocery store or someplace else outside my home is to try making a genuine human connection with another person. That means, looking the person who is cleaning the grocery carts when I enter the store straight in the eye and saying hello — and smiling with my eyes as best I can. Or it can mean when a sales person calls, recognize that they are just someone trying to make a living and telling them kindly instead of coldly that I am not interested but I wish them well. Or even giving the person waiting at a stoplight in the car next to me a warm smile.
Connection is what can save us whenever we find ourselves in a challenging place. There is something about genuinely seeing and connecting with another human being that melts our hearts and opens us up to life. Our lives may be limited right now but our hearts are never limited. It just takes a little effort (sometimes a lot) to get outside of ourselves and take in the people and world around us.